Feb. 26 Family Issues

Questions:1. Briefly explain the egalitarian myth that Hochschild documents in her chapter. What is emotion work and how is it related to this myth? Compare Holts' situation with your observations on the division of labor in your family or those of your friends.

The egalitarian myth that Hochschild documents in her chapter talks about the idea of equal opportunity in a marriage. A husband and a wife in such a household are "supposed" to share household chores and give "equal opportunity" for both individuals to focus on their career goals. This idea of the Egalitarian household has been on the rise for years.Sources suggest that it may be due to rises in female employment and the economic need for families to have more than one caregiver at work. This type of household is supposed to lessen tensions of the second shift. It should reduce the commonly known strain of the mother handling all household chores and attempting to manage the work life at the same time. Stepping aside from traditional views, this way children would benefit by having both a mother and father figure in the household and the mother's role as a working woman could me more important. When a child is unable to identify with both parents having equal parenting roles there is less stability.

Women in non-egalitarian households do alot of emotional work. For instance, they have to deal with imbalances in childrearing/ caretaking and she is always viewed as the provider. A woman outside of the egalitarian household has to deal with all of this, on top of trying to be a "good" wife, a good employee, etc. Women in such situations have alot of emotions to manage and they have to do it constantly in a conscious effort to maintain the well being of her relationship. (both men and women are subject to this) Women experience dual labor in our economy and in their households.
-Many women in egalitarian households create family myths. In the Holt's case they created the upstairs downstairs myth as a solution. These family myths, serve as versions of reality. Such a myth was created to to sustain the idea of an egalitarian household despite the husband stubbornly holding back on housework. These myths help ease the minds of progressive women but in reality their work loads do not change. In this read they split the house in two to make housework appear equal but the woman was stil doing most of the work. This creates tension because even though it's not said out front women know inside that they are still doing the majority of work. They are almost forced to carry out a lie in the relationship. These couples try to live under a "perfect" umbrella as if everything is okay, when it really isn't.

-In this read the wife wanted to be appreciated for what she does in the home and at work. This sounds all to familiar in my family. My mom is automatically expected to cook... just because and if she doesn't my father has a fit. She's never really thanked for all the chores that she does while working at the same time but I know she wants it. My dad is a little different from the man in this read because he grew up in a single parent family with a mom and he knows all about working hard and doing chores. He does alot of cleaning up but my mom for some reason belongs in the kitchen. Oh yea he refuses to grocery shop too for reasons unknown to us all. That's how he wants it period. (a cautionary tale?) My mom tries hard to establish herself as a career woman but there are still certain expectancies she has even though she works crazy long hours.
-Just like in the story I feel that alot of men/husbands are concerned about a certain balance of power that they feel is culturally "right." Some of there men feel that they are offering there wives a chance to stay home, or cut back their hours, and they feel that their wife is refusing thier "gift". Given most women's feelings about work and careers today, this offer is hardly seen as a gift.
- Issues of "equal sharing" is another factor that resignates in my household and households across the world.


2. Explain the concept of the “ideology of domesticity” described by Williams. What are the three constraints that domesticity places on the organization of work in our society? Based on what you learned from lectures and movies, did ideology of domesticity exist in hunters and gatherers societies? In colonial America? Use specific examples to support your answers.

The idea of domesticity roots back to the 1700's when family and work were a top priority. The system of domesticity that Williams defines is a very traditional one, one that sustains the idea of the bread winner husband and the wife stuck at home caring for every duty there. Domesticity is a linkage of gender, class, and children's needs. And it makes mothers the primary delivery system for services to children. Religion, law, and custom all enforced the father's position and is authorative figure. The 3 constraints that domesticity places on the organization of work in society are 3 sets of enititlements; the entitle ment of employers to hire ideal workers, for men to be ideal workers, and for children to have nothers whose lives are formed around caregiving. Togther these put the father the ideal-worker role and mothers fit into loves carved around caregiving. There is a clear gender hierarchy here.

I believe that both the hunter-gatherer socities and colonial america showed signs of domesticity. In the movie we watched with the girl that got married off at the age of eight, we learned that the males were always expected to go out and kill for food. They did the more "violent" things while kids and females stayed at home. If they were picking fruit or going to look for water they would help. I also remember that when a female was married off it was now the new husbands role to play a breadwinner figure and supply them with foods, etc. The woman were always shown with kids especially at infancy (they would put them in a knap sack on their backs.) One woman from another tribe travel all the way to this specific one to gather meats... with a baby! And she was the only one traveling far and wide with a baby with fresh meat on her back, why someone else wasn't taking care of the baby whow knows. Sounds like a perfect target for the neighboring lion anyone?
-Also in the video about the midwifes diary in colonial america, we saw a distinct difference between the work that males did and that of females. It seemed as if the birthing process was completely a woman's thing. Not once I don't think did a see a man hand in hand helping his wife through the process. Seemed as if a neighbor from down the way (female of course) would be of help before males did. Men were always in the field at work and women were left at home to take care of all the kids, all by themselves. Even considering when marriage arrangments came up, it was definitely the mothers job to take care of everything.
-Women in both settings seem to be some sort of financial burden.


3. Explain Williams’s argument about sex discrimination and the “free choice.” Do you agree with her?

William's argues that though in today's society the numbers of women in workforce and the women attempting to manage career lives, women are still subject to caregiver roles. There is sex discrimination and lack of free choice for women. Women in today's world and the past fall to disadvantages in all kinds of institutions around them. Whether it be by religion, by law, etc. The idea of women and the "double shift" is still very much alive and women are still held mostly responsible for domestic works even when working outside of the home. I agree with William's in that our society resignates in the domesticity ideology and the "free choice" of women is no choice at all. Our society and it's underlying beliefs and institutions makes it almost impossible for woman to be fully dedicated to a career and be released from the responsibilities of a "mother." Women that do have a bad stigma attach to them.


4. According to Carrington, how does the household division of labor in lesbigay families compare to that in heterosexual families? In his view, what are the reasons for these differences or similarities?

Christopher Carrington attempts to bring elements of gay/ lesbian work life and household arrangements to light. These types of households depending on how the individuals were brought up tend to have a more egalitarian approach to household responsibilities and expectancies. He also states that just like a heterosexual couple, if a homesexual couple has one that can fulfill or take place as the "breadwinner" in the household they accept this as a reality just like any other couple would do in order to perserve or shall i say save a relationship. Gay and lesbian americans he states, strive to maintain or create egalitarian households, so btoh partners can contribute evenly to domestic work. But in reality this is not the ideal picture. The same dynamics that produce inequalities in America's heterosexual homes are the same dynamics that create inequality in lesbigay couple homes.