Motherhood

Readings:
1. Sharon Hays. 1996. “From Rods to Reasoning.” Pp. 19-50 in The Cultural Contradictions of Mothering. New Haven, CT: Yale University Press.
2. Ann Crittenden. 2001. “Introduction.” Pp. 1-12 in The Price of Motherhood: Why the Most Important Job in the World Is Still the Least Valued. New York: Metropolitan Books.
3. Patricia Hill Collins. 2000. “Black Women and Motherhood.” Pp. 173-200 in Black Feminist Thought: Knowledge, Consciousness, and the Politics of Empowerment, 2nd edition. New York: Routledge.4. Edin, Kathryn, and Maria Kefalas. 2005. Unmarried with Children. Contexts, 4, 2, 16-22.

Questions:
1. According to Hays, what were the four historical stages of development in the cultural notions of appropriate mothering in America in 17-20th centuries? What is intensive mothering, and does this concept apply to your mother or mothers of your friends?

The historical stages that Hays speaks of are that from the earliest discovery of childhood innocence in Western Europe, to the religiously grounded model of the American Puritans, the 19th century valorization of mothers, and the turn-of-the century establishment of expert-guided child rearing, to the permissive era (child-centered families).

Intensive mothering is an ideology that holds the individual mother at the forefront in responsibility for child rearing and influences the process to be child-centered, emotionally absorbing, labor intensive, expert-guided, etc. To me, Hays maybe arguing that these very ideas about appropriate mothering may stem from the ambivalence toward a system that is based solely on the competitive pursuit of individual interests.
This belief that a mother should focus all her time and energy on raising children is something that I have definitely witnessed, especially in single parent households. The father whether proven to be the father or not can get away with just paying a monthly check but the female has no way out. If a man doesn’t want to be apart of childrearing the woman is supposed to suck it up and no matter how hard survival maybe, she’s supposed to do anything and everything to ensure the survival of both herself and the child. No matter how any of us put it, we all know that there is an underlying belief in society that in a large majority of situations unless she up and disappears, is killed, or strung out on drugs, the mother is almost always destined to be the primary caregiver even if she can’t handle it.


2. In Crittenden's view, what are the main indicators that mothering is devalued in the United States? Do you agree with her?

Crittenden believes that though people claim that motherhood and childrearing is one of the hardest jobs, most people take motherhood for granted and when women do decide to dedicate all their time towards such a task, the idea of a stay at home mom is looked down upon and devalued. She thinks that even children have absorbed the cultural message that mothers have no stature. A mother’s work is almost invisible and can become a handicap and people don’t consider this. “The idea that time spent with one’s child is time wasted is embedded in traditional economic thinking. The devaluation of mothers’ work permeates virtually every major institution. Not only is care giving not rewarded, it is penalized.” (Crittenden) She mentions that in our society there is a contradiction we speak of the importance of nurturance but at the same time we disregard the work it takes to do so. For example, the inflexibility in the workplace that causes a lot of women on the road to motherhood to cut back on and sometimes quit their employment. Next she goes into the idea that marriage is still not an equal financial partnership. A mother’s unpaid work doesn’t entitle her to the primary income and finally the role of a primary caregiver is not considered a full productive citizen and social policies don’t define this type of unpaid care/ work as work. “The only safety net for a caregiver who loses her source of support is welfare, and even that is no longer assured. (p.4)

In my opinion, this author is right on point and if not right on point, she’s definitely on to the something. I agreed with a large majority of the points that she made. Reading this made me realize that personally share some of these negative views toward motherhood myself and that’s very unfortunate seeing that I will hold that position one day soon. One quote that stood out to me was when she stated that, “American mother’s may have their day, but for the rest of the year their values, their preferences, and their devotion to their children are shortchanged.” It’s funny to think that females in our society are embracing an economy that relies on what Crittenden describes as free and badly paid female labor. Our ideas of what maternal love should entail may very well put our women at a risk of maternal slavery.


3. According to Collins, what are the two types of mothering that Black women tend to do? How are these related to the notion of "motherhood as a symbol of power"?

The two types of mothering that Black women tend to do are said to be that of a blood mother and serve the role as “the othermother.” In African-American communities, it has been traditionally essential to have someone else to share mothering responsibilities. Having one person hold all the responsibility may not be wise if at all possible. “The centrality of women in African American extended families reflects both a continuation of African-derived cultural sensibilities and functional adaptations to intersecting oppressions of race, gender, class, and nation. Women’s centrality is characterized less by the absence of husbands and fathers than by the significance of women.” (Collin, p.4) Sisters, grandmothers, cousins, neighbors, aunts, etc may act as “othermothers” by taking on child-care responsibilities for one another’s children. Sometimes this arrangement entailed temporary child-care, discipline of the kids, and sometimes long-term care or informal adoption.
The idea of motherhood, whether taken on by bloodmothers, othermothers, or community othermothers definitely invoke a symbol of power for African-American women. Through participating in such network, these women gain high respect in their communities because of their activist mothering as community othermothers. Community othermothers work on behalf off the children, the women, and the men in their communities these women will never be nationally recognized for what they do, this status helps them gain a lot of respect and recognition within their communities. This is what forms the basis within black civil society. These women are seen as those to bring people along and “uplift the race.”


4. According to Edin and Kefalas, what are the poor women's attitudes on and experiences with marriage and childbearing, and what can the society do to help these women get out of poverty? What is your opinion?

Poor women’s attitudes toward this topic are a surprising reality. Poor women consistently have a positive attitude toward the institution of marriage but yet repeatedly choose to bear kids without a marital partner. Most of the decisions made toward this are contrary to those made by nonpoor counterparts who can better afford childbearing without marriage but do so otherwise. Women of lower socioeconomic statuses are continuing to bear children at young ages and do so typically outside of marriage. Marriage for a majority of these individuals rarely follows child birth.
I know that policy makers and our “legislation” is trying to break this “trend” by trying to produce programs that show these individuals how to strengthen relationship skills and encourage marriage but I don’t think that this is going to the best solution. Teaching the poor how to have “healthy relationships” and encouraging them to move into an institution that is in decline is wrong. I don’t think that most of us realize how unfair it is to say to these people that because of our economy and because of your financial status you have no choice, you can’t have kids.
If these people had more money though this wouldn’t be an issue. In our society money is literally everything and it’s because of this that we have inequalities (gender, educational, race, etc), oppressions, marginalizations, and so forth. Just because these people have accepted the fact that society doesn’t give a damn about them besides how what their doing in their lives may affect the nonpoor we can’t be mad or try to control their fertility rates and so forth. Everyone can’t benefit from networking, winning the lottery, or get a golden ticket to leave poverty behind. Just because these individuals are poor, they aren’t supposed to want a family? If this cycle of poverty that surrounds them shows no way out how can we deny these individuals the love and unity that a child might bring to their lives? In all, marriage is not the solution.