Divorce and families

Due April 27, 2007, 12PM:

Readings:
1. Stephanie Coontz. 1997. “Putting Divorce in Perspective.” Pp. 97-108 in The Way We Really Are: Coming to Terms With America's Changing Families. NY: Basic Books.
2. Frank F. Furstenberg and Andrew J. Cherlin. 2001. “Children’s Adjustment to Divorce.” Pp. 491-499 in Family Patterns, Gender Relations. Edited by Bonnie J. Fox. Ontario, Canada: Oxford University Press.
3. Carr, Deborah. 2006. "Good Grief: Bouncing Back from a Spouse’s Death in Later Life." Contexts, 5, 4, 22-
27.


Questions:

1. According to the research presented by Stephanie Coontz, how does divorce affect children, and what factors account for the variation in these effects?

Previous research tells us that there are disastrous consequences for the future of kids. There are too many options today for parents to pursue personal fulfillment at the expense of their children’s needs. Divorce interferes with effective parenting and deprives children of parental resources. Kids from divorced families face insurmountable deficits and stepfamilies turn out even worst. Children in divorced and remarried families are more likely to drop out of school, exhibit emotional distress, get in trouble with the law, and abuse drugs or alcohol than children who grow up with the law, and abuse drugs than those with biological parents. It’s harder for them to avoid these perils.

-I liked that this article points out that a lot of research has focused on kids and family that have affects that are so bad that they have already sought help in therapy. So to say that they are at higher risks gives us disproportionate numbers seeing that this sample creates a bias. In fact, in more representative samples, there are much lower estimates of risks. Most studies out here have not focused on work pressures, general insecurities, or community fragmentation. To assume that these previous samples, which in most cases are small, ignore the possibility of “national” data. [...] we find few statistical significant differences across family types on measures of socioemotionnal adjustment and well-being. Divorce does not account for the majority of social problems that it is usually claimed to do so.
-The author adds that we need to pay attention to comparisons of data like percentages for example. One study found that 20-25% of kids from divorced families have behavior problems and only 10 percent from nondivorced. That means that 75-80% aren’t having problems, the majority are well. These are things that we fail to realize when we look at immediate numbers.
-We have to pay attention to those cases where children are involved in several divorces and remarriages. They usually show the poorest adjustment, but even then there are more factors than just divorce alone. Consider, “antisocial mothers” who themselves may have experiences many marital transition and may engage in unskilled parenting practices that in turn affect their children.
-When research is done in this arena, we have to control for other factors, which in turn may lower disadvantage numbers/ percentages. (Examples: income, low maternal education, poverty, financial loss, school relocation, prior history of severe marital conflict)
-There are no hard and fast links between family structure, parental behaviors, and children’s outcomes.


2. According to Furstenberg and Cherlin, what factors affect short-term and long-term adjustment of children to divorce?

Usually the focus of a divorce surrounds the couple and what they may be going through individually. This article tells us that conflict and emotional upset on the part of the parents causes problems for the children just as well. As far as short-term affects are concerned, they actually begin in the years of separation. Shock, anxiety, and anger arise upon learning of the breakup. Harmful affects on the children may begin way before the actual breakup “Children have two special needs during the crisis period. First they need additional emotional support as they struggle to adapt to the breakup. Second, they need the structure provided by a reasonably predictable daily routine.” Single parents usually cannot meet both of these needs and this is where problems arise. If parents are depressed, their kids are affected because they can’t comfort them emotionally especially if their needy. The result is that children lose the sense of support needed. Researchers agree that children are moderately distressed when parent separate and most continue to experience confusion, sadness, anger and so forth. We do have to keep in mind that variations in this arise when we account for age, gender and differences in temperaments.

Long-term: “Even less is known about the long-term consequences of divorces than about the short-term consequences. Most single parents and children recover substantially from the “crisis” period. Parent-child relationships generally improve. And the majority of children it seems return to normal development. Some children of course experience long-term affects but overall this assumption has been greatly exaggerated. Most studies lack comparisons to inact families and usually the families that are studied have already got to the point that they need psychiatric help and counseling. It is not doubted that young adults will always have memories of such experiences, but that doesn’t mean that their functioning as adults will be altered. In all there is no certain path that children should follow after divorce and children’s responses to divorce vary greatly just as everything else in our lives. We all handle things differently.

3. According to Carr, what three factors are the most important influences on spousal bereavement? How does gender shape the experience of spousal loss?

Three main factors highlighted were: cause of death, age, and life together before death. Other influences are that of the experience of loss and how it reflects the marriage, being older and gender. Studies show that sudden deaths are not necessarily more distressing than expected ones, and bereaved people who had strained marriages actually feel less grief than those who had close and loving ones. Widows sometimes experience profound depression in months/years to follow after a loss and the way they handle it all depends on the factors mentioned above. A loss for couples, especially when they get older is inevitable. To avoid a loss with someone you’ve been with for such a long period of time is inescapable unless you avoid marriage altogether. “These individuals have raised their children, celebrated the births of their grandchildren, and enjoyed at least a few years of relaxation together after retiring.” (p.3) They also differ from younger counterparts in how they respond emotionally to stress. Due to lower levels of emotional reactivity, grief reactions tend to be shorter lived and less intense than younger widows.
As far as cause of death is concerned, in older couples there is usually an issue with chronic illness and long term diseases. Couples become bombarded with new technologies, taking care of the spouse in the home, distributing insulin, etc, all the way and are burdened with things around this that are very time consuming. “Older caregivers report high levels of strain and depressive symptoms when their spouses are still alive, yet bounce back shortly after their spouses die. The article says this questions the assumption that expected deaths are necessarily “better” for the survivor. Watching someone die seems to be more painful than the actual death.

Death and the reflection of Marriage: Older people are spared severe distress compared to younger people in this situation. Death can be viewed as a release or freedom from an unrewarding marriage. Despite previous studies, it’s been proven that symptoms fade as time goes on. Survivors of lost ones come to realizations and start to enjoy memories of their beloved ones without the presence of grief. Widows from problematic marriages show better psychological health following a loss than those who remain in troubled marriages. People can achieve psychological rewards.

Men and women experience things differently both in general/ life and in this context. Due to our “traditional” division of labor, widows and widowers face different challenges. “For women, widowhood often means a sharp dip in economic resources, because men earn more than women during their working lives, they receive higher social security benefits upon retirement or disability.” (p.5) Because of this, widows are more likely than widowers to experience distress and anxiety about money. For males usually after their wives die it is claimed that they died of a broken heart. When in fact it may be due to the fact that women take care of their husbands and remind them of things for health, etc. so they wind up not taking care of themselves well. A wife gives social and emotional support so when they die this is all lost. This may explain why males become “sick” after the death of their wives.